The Tales of Rothschild
Prologue
One of my favorite operas is “The Tales of Hoffman”. It’s about the stories that one man tells about his life, through his encounters with three unique women. It has beautiful music and a touching finale. The opera has three acts, which seemingly have nothing to do with each other except for Hoffman, one of the characters in each. This column will be about three diverse topics in the sports and entertainment world, and how they fit. How do they relate to the sports landscape that we intend to rearrange, as the catchy slogan above says? These are the tales of Rothschild.
(That’s right. I just used opera to rope you into a sports column. Respect.)
Act 1
The Real Groundhog’s Day
Think about how many MLB teams have a legitimate chance to win the title this year. Is it 5? 10 at most? The lack of competition in the majors is one of the biggest issues surrounding Major League Baseball. It seems hard to believe that anyone outside of the Yankees, Red Sox, Phillies, Angels, Dodgers and a few others can really stake a claim to October glory. The chips are stacked against low-budget teams like the Royals, Brewers and Reds, and everyone knows it. It isn’t a new pastime to criticize America’s Pastime for its lack of a salary structure. Yet, fans of all of these teams, no matter how big or small, head down to Florida and Arizona around this time of year to see their favorite teams engage in the annual rite of passage that is Spring Training.
What is it that makes Spring Training so much more special than any of the other training camps in the other sports? For football, some people go to visit the teams’ minicamps, but only the masochistic ones among us who love to watch big guys sweat in 110 degree weather. In hockey and basketball, the training camps go by without even a thought. My favorite sport is hockey, and I still have no idea when training camp usually starts for my beloved Rangers. Is it in the end of August? Beginning of September? Mid-September? It’s in that area, but your guess is as good as mine. The same goes for the NBA. So, why baseball, a sport that has by far the least amount of teams with a real shot at a championship? For the most part, it’s the weather. Sorry for not having a sexier answer. Besides the obvious need for a vacation in the middle of February, with the Northeast getting hit by snowstorm after snowstorm, the desire for better days fuels the trek down south. Baseball is the only sport that is only played during the nicest days of the year. In addition, besides football to a degree, it’s the only sport where you can have a good time at a game even if your team stinks. Close your eyes, and pretend that you’re a sports fan from northern Ohio. Nope, this is a written column. Scratch that. Keep your eyes open. Think about going to a Blue Jackets game. You’re wearing a heavy winter coat, driving in the snow, rushing into a cold arena and watching a lackluster team get ripped apart by the superior teams in their division. Does that sound like a whole lot of fun? Now think about going to an Indians game. You tailgate with your friends in the nice northern weather in the spring and summer. You have a couple of beers in the parking lot (maybe a ’55 Pennant Ale) while enjoying the last remnants of the sun off of its peak temperature before a night game. You leisurely walk into gorgeous Jacobs Field, considered to be among the nicest in the game after being built almost 20 years ago. You relax and catch up with pals while watching a more leisurely game than the high-octane intensity that hockey brings. You buy a hot dog during an inning, you sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame, and your team will probably get ripped apart by a superior team in their division. But didn’t you still have a good time?
The trek down to spring training has more to do with this than anything else. When we see baseball on our TVs or in a stadium, we think of a fun, relaxing time in great weather with great friends. I may enjoy hockey more than baseball, but I sure as heck enjoy the experience of going to a baseball game more. With Spring Training, we see the hope of a great summer season ahead of us, even if our team’s payroll isn’t as high as it should be. We see the guys that we remember from years past getting ready to entertain us again, and it gets us over the terrible weather we have now. It’s the all-American hope for a better day ahead, and it’s what makes Spring Training great.
Act 2
The Doc vs. The Old Pro
In New York, announcers mean a lot to us. They dictate how the game feels, and they change the way we perceive one just by what they say, and how they say it. This rings especially true in hockey, where the game is so fast that what you say isn’t always as important as how you say it. Since we live in the biggest Metro area in the world, we usually have the pick of announcers for our teams, many of which are often used for national telecasts. For hockey, there are really only two big time announcers around here, with no disrespect to Howie Rose, who does an outstanding job for the Islanders. Doc Emrick, the play by play announcer for the Devils, and Sam Rosen, for the Rangers, are the two heavyweights here, and both are amazing at what they do. But who is better? Let’s break it down into a few categories.
Who would more people want to listen to? Doc Emrick has much more of an ‘announcing voice’ than Rosen. His voice has an authority to it that Rosen’s doesn’t always have. There’s a reason why Emrick is in charge of the national telecasts, and Rosen isn’t. With Rosen, there’s a reason why he is so localized. He has a Jewish, Manhattan-ey nasal tone to his voice that probably doesn’t translate to well across the country. (One of my favorite Sam Rosen traditions is his annual appearance on Steve Somers’ radio show on WFAN in New York on Christmas. What else does he have to do?) There’s a reason why he’s only the 5th or 6th guy on Fox’s NFL Football broadcasters list, despite working there for a long time and being very knowledgeable there as well. For Middle America, I’d have to say: Edge: Emrick
Which would you rather listen to for the course of a season? For Doc Emrick, his intensity is so high for every game that if I were to watch him every night I would get tired of him at some point. I think that Rosen is better at saving his highest emotions for the times when it’s needed most. Also, it seems that Rosen is better at getting the information behind the scenes from the team than Emrick is. Do we ever really see Emrick asking the players questions after the game? Rosen often is among the first people to ask the key players key questions right when the game ends. For this attention to detail, repartee with the players, and the ability to space out the emotions needed to carry a fanbase through the season, I’ll go with: Edge: Rosen
Final Question: Who would you rather have calling the biggest game of your life?
This one is fairly easy for me. The answer is the person who has been calling the biggest games of our lives for the last decade, and that man is Mike Emrick. Let’s ignore the dozens of deciding games that he has mastered in the last few years, and only look at the one he called last, the gold medal game between the United States and Canada on Sunday. Throughout the game, he managed to raise his voice when the circumstances required it, and keep it fairly calm in the calmer parts of the game. When Zach Parise scored the tying goal with 24 seconds left in regulation, he managed to reach his fever pitch. His intensity made the game seem even more important, and it reflected how meaningful it was to both teams. When overtime came, he knew that he could be on the spot to make a call that would last for decades in the annals of American sports. Yet, he let the game breathe. He respected the viewer enough to assume that they knew how big the game was without having to tell them so. When Sidney Crosby scored the game and tournament winning goal about midway through overtime, Emrick yelled “HE SCORES! Canada wins the gold!” Most announcers would think to follow that up with some sort of catchphrase or rehearsed dialogue saved up just for that very moment. What did Doc follow up with? Nothing. He witnessed the mob scene going on in front of him and let the crowd tell the story. It’s a trick he’s done for years, and it works to this very day. He is intelligent enough to know when he needs to control the broadcast, and when it can control itself. A great announcer lets the fans experience the game to its fullest potential. By stepping off the mic and letting the crazed crowd take over the moment, he did just that. I’m not sure if Sam would have the wherewithal and artful restraint to do the same. When you have a big moment, you want the signature voice of the NHL to be there for it, with or without the need to use that voice. That person, and the winner of this ultimate debate, is Mike “Doc” Emrick.
Act 3
Tonight Show Wars: The Aftermath
We’ve all heard the gory details of the Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien controversy at NBC. Conan lost his timeslot, quit/was fired, had a long, fantastic send off, blah blah blah. It was entertaining, I enjoyed it, and it’s over. Jay Leno is taking over the Tonight Show again as of last night, and order has been restored, for now. In the words of Mark McGwire, I’m not here to talk about the past. What happens now? Leno this week has booked a strong allotment of guests, consisting of people as wide-ranging as Sarah Palin to Olympians Shaun White and Lindsey Vonn. The real questions will be how his ratings hold up in the first few weeks, and how his guest booking goes after the initial onslaught of people come on who want to cash in on the curious viewer’s attention. Conan has the edge of Hollywood on his side; most actors and actresses have come out in favor of him, and Leno’s presence may keep some people away from the Tonight Show out of support. There will be a large portion of people who won’t ever watch Leno again after what he did to O’Brien and NBC. There are others that just don’t like Leno’s style of broad, corny comedy that he has excelled in. The problem is this: NBC doesn’t care about these people. At least, they don’t care about them as much as people in other demographics. The Tonight Show under Leno’s regime put up strong ratings, which propelled it to #1 consistently, despite having issues in the 18-49 demographic of people. The people that will watch Leno are the people who won’t go onto the internet to find out which late-night host said what about him, and why he said it. They are the people who thought, “Oh, Jay’s coming back. Nice! I didn’t like that red-headed doofus. He looks too much like WWE’s Sheamus. ” They may not have heard about Jay’s return until his awkward commercial during the Olympics, while they were racking their brains to figure out how curling works. Leno’s audience isn’t the tech-savvy group that hates him. Nor is it the young group that went through high school and college watching the innovative comedy of O’Brien. For Leno’s show to work, he will need to reclaim his audience; the one that doesn’t care about today’s technology, but loves good old-fashioned comedy. Because, be honest, you are likely an internet savvy person who has his or her eye on technology if you are reading this website. (And, good for you! I appreciate it; I really do.) When’s the last time that The Tonight Show was appointment TV for you, outside of Conan’s final week on the show? Have you ever made it your business to turn Leno on? Or, was it by coincidence that you were channel surfing with nothing to do late at night and figured you would turn it on, since you were probably out of weed? It’s probably the latter. I can’t be a judge of what the tastes of these other people are. But, if I were to guess, they’d be people that just want their Leno back, with no strings attached. They’ll get it, and the new Tonight Show will be a hit, whether the hip ones among us like it or not.
Epilogue
These subject matters have nothing to do with each other on the surface. One involves the joys of spring, another the legacy of an all-time great announcer, and the last one about the redemption of a fallen host. The only thing that they have in common is the fact that they each make sports and pop culture that much better. None of these things REALLY matter in the big picture. The MLB title isn’t won by what happens in spring training. The Stanley Cup isn’t won due to who is pronouncing the champion. Backstage controversy at NBC doesn’t make a comedian funnier. But, all of these things are just little details of why sports are great. Just some spices in the soup. They aren’t needed. But they’re damn fun. And isn’t that a microcosm of what sports are on the whole? Little spices that add to life. If sports didn’t exist, life would go on. It just wouldn’t be as much fun. Neither would these events without the little flavors that make them great. We crave flavor. These are the tales of Rothschild.
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haha, Leno is so wild! I love him.
It is simple to see that you are well-informed about your writing. Cheers!