As the Northeast region of the country was hit hard with a blizzard on Saturday night, our dreams of dueling 16-0 seasons went down with the falling snow. The Saints were beaten badly by the Cowboys, 24-17, and the game wasn’t as close as the score makes it appear to be. (Although most of the nation couldn’t have come to that conclusion because the majority of America doesn’t get the NFL Network, resulting in me hauling ass to my friend’s house in a foot of snow to watch this game. Thanks NFL, I appreciate it!) The combination of Tony Romo and Marion Barber carved up the Saints defense for the majority of the game, and Demarcus Ware and the defense did a good job in constantly pressuring Drew Brees. The Colts managed to defeat the Jacksonville Jaguars on Thursday night, but not before a huge struggle that resulted in an excellent win by Peyton Manning, but also exposed many flaws within the team.
In my opinion, there was a collective belief across America recently that the Colts and Saints were destined to meet each other in the Super Bowl, and that nothing else could possibly get in their way. While we were consumed by this thought, we overlooked many big areas where both teams could be exposed. The Dallas game was a rude awakening that neither of these teams are perfect and both could be ripe for an upset once January comes. Let’s look at some quick numbers:
-Pass Defense: Indy is 20th, New Orleans is 25th.
-Rush Defense: Indy is 17th, New Orleans is 19th.
-Points Allowed: Indy is 5th, New Orleans is 19th, or more than the 49ers, Bills and Panthers, all definite non-playoff teams.
Rushing: New Orleans is 5th, Indianapolis is 31st, only ahead of the Texans.
Of course, these numbers are a bit misleading, since I’m selecting to leave out the fact that Saints lead the league in passing yards and points per game, and the Colts are very close to the top in both of these categories as well. But the fact remains that the statistics show, and the Cowboys proved, that there are ways to beat both of these teams. For the Colts, defenses must make Joseph Addai beat them. If teams try to slow the game down and make it a battle of rushing attacks, they may be very beatable, although no one has done it yet. For the Saints, the situation isn’t that much different. (Quick tangent: Thanks to Jersey Shore, do you find it difficult to use the word ‘situation’ in conversation? Mike, aka “The Situation”, has become such a fantastic character that he’s taken hostage of an entire word in the English language. Impressive, The Situation. I continue to enjoy you immensely. Back to the column.) If a team with a good running game and enough wide receivers to make the Saints defense respect the passing game plays them in the playoffs, they could be a major threat. And guess what? The Eagles and especially the Cardinals fit that exactly. Beanie Wells and Tim Hightower have proven to be a major threat out of the backfield, and the fact that Larry Fitzgerald at this point requires double coverage nearly wherever he goes means that there will be lots of open room for the Cardinals. If we get to the point where the Cardinals go to New Orleans for a divisional playoff matchup, I’d be very afraid if I were the Saints.
So, we all know that the wildcard matchups are very much up in the air, and that we won’t know much more about them for another week when more things can be settled, including some head to head matchups for the teams in question. But with the demise of the Saints and another shaky performance by the Colts, can we say that we really know who the favorites to go to the Super Bowl are? I’d say no, especially since the Chargers continue to look great in the AFC West and a real threat to challenge the Colts for the AFC Title. The run to the Super Bowl will not be as predestined as we all thought it would be. Be prepared.
A few notes to bring us home:
From my fantasy football column on Friday, I wanted to add one part to the ‘cons’ section, a deleted scene if you will:
Since so many fans enjoy playing fantasy football, more and more fans want access to every single game, in order to follow their teams. So, why would fans choose to go to the games instead of watching on their HDTVs and having the ability to toggle through every game with NFL Sunday Ticket? Going to a game means that you have to sit in the cold weather, pay tons of money and be able to watch one game. Staying at home allows you to sit on your comfortable couch, get what amounts to a better view of the game and be able to watch every single game while checking fantasy scores on your laptop. So is it possible that fantasy football will decrease the ticket sales for a future generation? I know that I have no desire to go to football games, I love the experience of staying at home and taking it all in. So if the ticket sales go down, the NFL will start blacking out games across the country, and nobody will even be able to watch the games. They’ll have to change the policies they have intact for how games are blacked out, and they would have to charge CBS, Fox, NBC and DirecTV more money for their product to compensate for the lost attendance revenue. This could lead to more games on the NFL Network or an increase in the amount of money we each pay on our cable bill. Clearly, that’s a doomsday scenario for the league that I’m exaggerating to prove my point, but who is to say that the desire to attend games won’t significantly go down? That can’t help the league in any way.
Things I’ve enjoyed in the last week:
Jersey Shore
Kenan Thompson’s “What Up With That” sketch from Saturday Night Live
Biz Markie’s Radio Shack commercial that’s been on lately.
Red Wine (I was never much of a wine person, but I’ve been drinking it more lately and I’ve enjoyed it each time. I’m getting older, I guess.)
This joke: What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at 3 ho’s. BuhdumCHH!
On that note, have a great holiday season and New Year. I’ll be back with more columns starting the week of January 4th, when we’ll be unveiling our brand new design to storps.com. It will change how the entire website looks and will make it easier and more entertaining to navigate through. Look out for more storpcasts with Allen Pines and myself throughout these next two weeks, since we’ll continue to update those, with possibly some special guests along the way. Thanks, and enjoy the season.
December 22, 2009 · Filed under NFL
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I’m sitting in my living room with my friends on a Sunday afternoon in November, and we’re watching my favorite football team, the New York Giants. I’m wearing my Giants number 27 jersey*, and the game is close. The Giants have driven all the way to the 1 yard line of the Atlanta Falcons, and a touchdown here would be vital in what is a huge game for them, since a victory will revitalize their playoff hopes after a long losing streak. On first down, Eli Manning hands the ball off to Brandon Jacobs, who rumbles his way into the endzone to give the Giants a 21-14 lead. My friends clap and celebrate. I yell “GODDAMNIT!!!” to the TV screen and kick the bottom of my seat (and that’s the G-Rated version of the story). Folks, welcome to the world of fantasy football.
*The jersey isn’t of Brandon Jacobs; it’s actually of Giants mega-bust Ron Dayne. Just roll with it.
Fantasy football is the obsessive game that many NFL fans play throughout the regular season. For any football fan living under a rock for the last decade, let’s give a very, very brief outline of what it is, because I’m not a fan of telling you, the reader, something that you already know. Each team consists of about 8 to 11 players each week, which are drafted before the season, consisting of a quarterback, 2 to 3 running backs and wide receivers, a tight end, a team defense and a kicker. Obviously, teams have players from many different teams. Points are awarded for a certain amount of statistics that each player on the team amasses: for example, if Chris Johnson rushes for 120 yards, has 70 yards receiving, and scores 2 touchdowns, he would have a 31 point day, which is an outstanding day in fantasy. Most leagues operate in a head-to-head format, where you face an opponent, and whichever team scores more points that week wins. The season is usually twelve to fourteen weeks long, and then there is usually either a two or three week playoff in December, the last few weeks of the regular season. Got that? Good, let’s move on. I consider myself to be a rather good fantasy football player (or owner or coach, if you will; I’m not really playing anything per se, I’m just inserting guys into the right positions to succeed), and this week, week 15 of the NFL season, is the finals in one of my leagues and the semifinals in the other two. Since the fantasy season is reaching its apex, the time has come to ask one of the questions that many NFL fans who aren’t big fantasy guys wonder, and one that fantasy players must think about every once in awhile: is fantasy football good for the NFL? Let’s address it in a debate of pros and cons.
PROS
The exposure to all 32 teams in the NFL based on fantasy football is immense. Because of how widely spread across the league people’s teams can be, fans need to be fully invested in all eight divisions, because it’s never known where the next great fantasy player will emerge. As a Giants fan, I usually would never have any interest in the AFC West. But, I have Antonio Gates on two of my teams, had Matt Cassel for awhile, and have played the Broncos Defense for a good amount of time. Plus, the rise of Jamaal Charles as a top fantasy running back in Kansas City has made him a star the last few weeks. I don’t have him in any of my leagues, but would I even know who he is without the use of fantasy football? My increased knowledge of the players in the NFL due to fantasy is incalculable. I’m going to do this off of the top of my head right now. This is obviously a written column so you can’t know if I’m telling the truth, but take my word that I’m not looking this up or cheating in any way. You trust me, right? I’m doing this completely from prior knowledge.
The third wide receiver on the Miami Dolphins is Davone Bess.
The backup running back for the Cleveland Browns is Chris Jennings.
The backup quarterback for the Houston Texans is Rex Grossman.
The starting tight end for the Seattle Seahawks is John Carlson.
The backup running backs for the Atlanta Falcons are Chris Snelling and Jerious Norwood.
The third quarterback for the Oakland Raiders is Charlie Frye.
The second wide receiver for the Detroit Lions is Bryant Johnson.
The fourth running back for the Washington Redskins is Quinton Ganther.
How would I possibly learn these things if they weren’t for fantasy football? Why would I ever want to know this information? These are the things that I learn. The increased exposure to these guys is amazing. Do you think that in the 60s or 70s anyone from New York had ever heard of the third wide receiver for the Dolphins or the Browns’ backup runningback? I don’t think so. The fact that all of these players are more notable is a strong step forward for the NFL, and I can’t imagine that they’d complain about that.
In addition to the exposure to players, how about the importance of meaningless games that are huge for fantasy players? Last week, CBS showed the Dallas vs. San Diego game on national TV, two of the better teams in the NFL playing for fairly high stakes in their respective conferences. Was I watching this game? Yes, but I had my eyes on the Gamecast of the Tennessee/St. Louis game, one team on the outside fringes of contention and one that is completely incompetent, more than on the TV. I needed Chris Johnson and Rob Bironas to perform well to earn a playoff victory, and I needed to avoid a big day by the Titans defense. All three played very well, and it resulted in a high-scoring shootout of a fantasy matchup. After this game, I had to watch the aforementioned Quinton Ganther to see if he would put up enough points to cost me a playoff victory, in a truly irrelevant game between Washington and Oakland. He had a great game, but didn’t do quite enough. This is a great thing for the NFL. Without fantasy, I wouldn’t have even remotely cared about either of these games, but the implications made them vital to my Sunday. For family reasons, I couldn’t go out to a bar where each game would have been shown on DirecTV’s NFL Sunday Ticket. I really, really missed it. The rise in fantasy football has increased the demand for Sunday Ticket, and the monopoly that DirecTV has on it has made their services more and more desirable. It may have even kept them in business, with the rise of digital cable threatening to undo them. The NFL is able to charge DirecTV a boatload of money for excusive rights to the package, and I’m sure those prices will only go up. For these two reasons, fantasy football is a huge moneymaker and greatly helps the NFL’s popularity.
CONS
The essential problem with fantasy football is that, while it increases the popularity of the sport short-term, in the long run it decreases loyalty and takes away the personality of the league. This last week, I had no fantasy implications within the Giants/Eagles game that was on NBC on Sunday night. I can’t begin to explain how refreshing it was to be able to sit and root for the Giants without worrying about how their success would impact my teams. The NFL’s foundation was built on loyal fans that would come to stadiums to support their teams 8 times a season, no matter what. In what other league are there waiting lists for season tickets that are decades long? Part of it has to do with the fact that going to 8 games a season is far more realistic for a middle-class person than going to 81 baseball games or 41 basketball and hockey games. But, the other part of it is an intense dedication to the local teams, a bond that unites a region unlike any other rooting experience. The process of going to a football game is so much more glorified than that of going to any other sport, because of the tailgate and the experience of camaraderie that doesn’t exist elsewhere. When the brand loyalties fade due to conflicting emotions because of fantasy football, what do you have left? Plus, let’s face this inevitable fact: fantasy football is a young man’s game. I have a feeling that many people above the age of fifty wouldn’t have the time nor patience to scour a waiver wire to find Davone Bess, or stare at a computer screen for hours and follow a dozen different games per week. I’m sure the demographics for who plays fantasy football right now skews towards people in their teens and mid-twenties, and that may be a biased number since fantasy football wasn’t prevalent in the way that it is now when these older people were younger. But the fact remains that, due to work and family, an older generation likely won’t have the time or patience to follow fantasy football. They’d want to follow their favorite team for three hours a week on Sundays. If their loyalties have been so badly disoriented from years of following other teams, who says that this will be as appealing? I know for a fact that I gave up playing fantasy hockey a few years ago because I wanted to only watch the Rangers, and purely root for them. It has made my fan affiliation stronger than ever. I definitely don’t feel as strongly about the Giants, and fantasy is a large reason.
The other main issue that I see is the androgyny of the players in the league when all that matters is accumulating numbers. I listed before that I can rattle off the top of my head various obscure players at nearly meaningless positions for teams that I don’t particularly care about. But does that mean that I know anything about them? Do I know what type of runner Chris Jennings is? Could I tell you if Bryant Johnson is a possession receiver, a longball threat or a guy that runs over the middle fearlessly? Absolutely not. All I know is their names, what they do, and how they can impact my fantasy season. This doesn’t even only apply to the lesser-known players. Let’s take two of the greatest runningbacks to have played in my lifetime: Barry Sanders and LaDanian Tomlinson. I grew up watching Sanders, and have been witness to Tomlinson’s entire career. With Sanders, I remember his ridiculously long runs, and how he would make cuts with his ankles that would make people miss. I remember his dashes into the endzone and his style when scoring, although he would never truly show up the opponent. Pretty good recollection for a guy I would only see a few times a year, right? But when I think about Tomlinson, I can’t say that I recall anything about his running style, the length of his runs or his overall demeanor, besides jumping into the endzone and wearing very dark-tinted helmets. I remember his stats. I remember that he carried a lackluster fantasy team of mine all the way into the finals one year, where I had no right to be, given the rest of my team. I remember that he would put up 30 points a week for me with regularity, but I don’t remember how he did it. Somehow, I don’t think telling my grandchildren about the week LaDanian Tomlinson carried my fantasy team will hold very much weight with them, in the same way that our grandfathers told us about the time they saw Ted Williams play the outfield or watched Jim Brown run. The personality of each player gets taken away when all that matters is their numbers, and that’s a shame.
CONCLUSION
So, we’ve realized that fantasy football is great for the NFL on a week to week basis, but it may not be that great down the line. For each week, it’s great because it keeps the fan base involved with the whole league. For example, two weeks ago I went to the opera on a Monday night. I needed Aaron Rodgers to outperform Ray Rice substantially in order to advance in the playoffs of my league. Throughout the second and third acts of the opera, a rather good production of The Tales of Hoffman, I actually felt nervous about how Rodgers was producing. When each act ended, I raced into the lobby to check my cell phone, and was joyful in that he succeeded in advancing my team in the playoffs. The fact that the NFL was on my brain to the point that I was nervous during an opera can’t possibly be a bad thing for the league.
This Sunday is the finals of one of my fantasy leagues, and the semifinals in my other two. The Sunday night game is between the Minnesota Vikings, a team that will definitely have the 2 seed in the NFC and is basically playing out the string until the playoffs, and the Carolina Panthers, a completely irrelevant team. Normally, I wouldn’t have bothered watching this game. I have Adrian Peterson, Minnesota’s star runningback, on all three of my teams. Wild horses wouldn’t be able to drag me from watching this game. My singular focus will be on Peterson, and I will hope that he can deliver me a championship. An interesting wrinkle will be that in one of my games, my opponent will likely start Brett Favre, Bernard Berrian, Percy Harvin and Visanthe Shiancoe, aka the rest of the Vikings offense. He likes to call it ‘the Vikings sweep’. I’ll be rooting for and against the Vikings at the same time, since I’ll want Peterson to succeed and everyone else to fail. It will make for a nerve-wracking, obsessive Sunday night, and fantasy football is responsible.
The one thing that swings fantasy into the Pro side for me is its schedule. Fantasy football will wrap up by the time New Years hits, as most leagues end by week 17, to account for the top teams resting their best players in the last week of the season. Except for some new formats that have fantasy leagues in the playoffs, there is no fantasy football throughout the NFL Playoffs. This lets the game itself shine. In the Giants’ incredible run to the championship two years ago, I remember each and every moment of it as it should be remembered: for the great football moments, and not the great fantasy moments. Lawrence Tynes was redeemed for missing two relatively easy field goals by making his last one; I remember the joy that we all experienced when the Giants won the game, not being upset that his misses would have lost me points if I had him on my team. I remember David Tyree’s circus catch in the Super Bowl for its pure athleticism and luck, not for the approximately 3.7 points the catch would have given me. I remember Plaxico Burress’ game winning catch for the impact it had on all of us, not for a 7.8 point grab. Fantasy football is the perfect mix because of this. It makes games that we wouldn’t care about matter. It makes me bit my nails due to the production of Quinton Ganther. I rejoice in the meaningless catches by Donnie Avery towards the end of blowout losses for the St. Louis Rams. But, it also lets us have the best of both. We can have the celebrations of statistical victories in nearly useless regular season games. But it saves the best for the real thing: the true celebration of a favorite team’s success in the playoffs, when it matters most. And that’s all that we can really ask for.
December 18, 2009 · Filed under NFL
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The Runts
Have you put down a Detroit Lions fan lately? If the answer is yes, then you are most likely a heartless soul with low self esteem who feels the need to increase his sense of self worth by insulting and ridiculing those less fortunate than him. But, I won’t get into the psycho-analysis of these brutes, I’ll save that for my article on Freudian Psychology and the impact of losing athletic events on today’s youth (make sure to look for that one in the upcoming weeks). But, really. Come on now. Putting down a Lions fan is like the high school football captain hanging a 5′3, 95 pound nerd in his locker by his underwear. The football captain is bigger, stronger, cooler and more popular and everyone knows it. Does he really have anything to gain by taking advantage of such an easy target?
Come to think of it, that previous analogy is pretty appropriate for how the rest of the NFL treats the Lions. Over the past two seasons the lions have entered into a historical bout of ineptitude. Last sunday, the bullies were the Baltimore Ravens and they did not hold anything back, unmercifully decimating the lions 48-3. They didn’t just hang the lions up in their lockers by their underwear, they also made out with their nerdy girlfriend right in front of them while they cried for someone to take them down. Ouch. Sometimes, the lions even get beat up by slightly bigger nerds. See the 17-10 week 8 loss to the St. Louis Rams. Jeez, how nice of the lions to submit for the rams only win of the season thus far and allow to the rams to break a losing streak that was threatening their own mark of futility! Boy, people may accuse the lions of many things, but not being compassionate sure isnt one of them! Or… maybe the lions were just getting jealous that many prognosticators were beginning to crown the Rams as the new worst team in the league and the Lions just had to do something about it. Hmm, conspiracy theories abound!
Fan Reactions
It’s quite obvious no one cares about the detroit lions, nor should they. So why are you reading this article? Chances are either A) you’re my mother or B) I paid you a couple bucks. If B) is the case, do me a favor and wait a couple of weeks before you cash that check. This lions-induced alcoholism is really draining my funds. Of course that is a joke. I don’t drink, mom.
Actually the lions arent worth me getting mind-numbingly drunk over. Not anymore at least. You see, there once was a time where a Detroit Lions loss actually ruined my day. Especially since in past years when the Lions had a penchant for losing games by a touchdown or less. This means that most likely in these games, if one or two more plays had gone the lions way, the lions could have actually won the game! Usually, this is a sign of a team on the brink of becoming respectable and competitive. Perhaps one more good draft, a key FA or two and maybe a slight change in philosophy and this team should be on its way! Oh wait… Matt Millen was running the team. Ah crap, there goes that whole “becoming a good team” notion.
It may be quite surprising to find out the lions actually have a dedicated and supportive fan base. Up untill the infamous 0-16 season the lions had no problems selling out their games despite being perpetually mediocre ( 1 playoff win since 1957 is nothing to write home about). Every sunday thousands of fans at the stadium and millions more at home, lived and died with the Lions. With every breath-taking run by the immortal Barry Sanders and every bone–crushing hit by the psychotic Chris Spielman we all thought ‘maybe, just maybe this team could finally revert to its championship form’. I’m talking 1957 NFL championship form. Yes, its been that long.
But no matter, the past was the past and this was this present. And each and every year lions fans faced sleepless nights leading up to the beginning of that new season, that new hope. Football and most sports in general, are quite a unique entity. Every year the slate is wiped clean and every team starts from the beginning; 0 wins, 0 losses. The epitome of the american dream huh? Everyone created equal and given an equal chance to succeed? (I don’t for one minute believe that is the case in today’s american society but let’s hold off on that for now). The point is, for years lions fans having been waiting for “our year”. Our year where we’d turn it around, jump over that last hurdle and accomplish something worthwhile. An NFC championship or maybe even… dare i say it? That first ever Super Bowl appearance.
The Aftermath of Millen
Just the other day I had to be reminded from a friend that the NFL season is 17 weeks long. Thats because I usually stop paying attention around week 13 after the lions become mathematically elimanted from the playoffs. And judging by the difficulty the lions have had selling out their stadium the past two years, I believe a lot of other fans have become indifferent, like me. It’s ashame, to think I could be losing interest in a sport I once loved so much. Its even a greater shame to think of those poor people (meant figuratively, but im sure the literal makes sense here as well) in Michigan enduring especially tough economic times and losing a method of escape. For three hours on Sunday, they should have a chance to forget about all their hardships and sit in front of the T.V. with their young children or a couple of buddies and cheer for a team that has a chance to win. But why bother now? Watching these lions play is only bound to depress these folks further.
This week the lions are giving away several hundred tickets FREE to former season ticket owners who have since canceled their packages. The lions claim it’s because they want to show how much they valued their relationship. If the lions were still selling out, I doubt they’d send these former ticket holders so much as a letter thanking them and inviting them to renew next year. I hope these former season ticket owners assume the same mindset as George W. Bush during one of his most famous quotes. “Fool me once… shame on you. (awkward pause) Fool me once, you can’t get fooled again!” The lions have fooled these fans once into thinking they were heading into the right direction. They would be smart not to renew their season tickets again. And the lions would be smart to put a product on the field that people want to pay to see.
So next time you see a lions fan, do me a favor. Give him a hug. He needs one. And maybe buy him a beer… or a case. And maybe make his car payments for the next few months and babysit his kids on the weekends and… ok, im going too far. A hug will do for now. But for the love of all that is holy, can someone fix this franchise?
December 18, 2009 · Filed under NFL
1 Comment
Some NFL Week 14 things first, and then a few notes afterwards:
There actually isn’t a whole lot to discuss in the NFL, besides the wild card races. Every division is pretty much wrapped up. The two closest are the AFC and NFC East races, but at this point it’s a safe assumption to say that the Patriots and Eagles will win both of those, although that could change within a week. The Colts and Saints rolled on, going to 13-0, and they’ll have a few interesting tests coming up that will challenge their perfection. But, really, the story is the wild card races, so let’s get to them.
AFC: The stunning fall from grace of the Pittsburgh Steelers has opened this entire race wide open. The Broncos, despite losing to the Colts yesterday, seem to have a fairly strong grasp on the 5 seed, and are on a crash course with New England for a first-round matchup. The 6 seed will be much more of a tossup. There are now four teams (Ravens, Jets, Dolphins, Jaguars) with identical 7-6 records, and the Steelers, Titans and Texans are lurking behind them at 6-7 if any slip up. The Ravens have the easiest schedule remaining, and it would seem that whichever team can win out will get in at 10-6. The Jets may be playing the best football out of the four teams, but their tiebreakers are awful, so a single loss by them will likely end their season. It would be incredibly difficult for them to get in with less than 10-6. They will go into Indy in 2 weeks, and that will be a must-win for them. The Dolphins have a relatively easy schedule, as they will play all three teams that are 6-7 right now. If they take care of business they will have an excellent chance to get in, as they have the tiebreakers on the Jets and Jaguars. I believe this will come down to the Dolphins and Ravens, and if the Steelers have any pride whatsoever, they will play spoiler against both of these teams and prevent one or both from getting in. As of now I’d pick the Dolphins, only because they’ll have Pittsburgh at home, and I’d like to think the Steelers would love to ruin their rival Ravens’ season in Pittsburgh in Week 16.
NFC: The Green Bay Packers are the one team that truly benefited yesterday from everything that happened. They played a sloppy game but pulled it out against the Bears in Chicago, and everything else broke perfectly for them, short of a Vikings victory. The Eagles’ win in New York pulled them away from the rest of the NFC East, and put the Packers a full two games up on the Giants, the 7 seed as of now. With a Dallas loss in New Orleans, a Green Bay win in Pittsburgh, and a Minnesota win in Carolina, Green Bay would be locked into the 5 spot with two weeks to go. They could potentially rest Aaron Rodgers and Ryan Grant for two full weeks, getting them ready for a potential first-round matchup against the Eagles and wrecking millions of fantasy seasons around the country.
The other major thing to discuss from Sunday’s NFL action is, of course, the fallout in the NFC East. The Eagles now are up a full game on Dallas, and they have a fairly easy schedule hereon in. There’s no reason to think they won’t be sitting at 11-4 before their final matchup with Dallas on the last day of the season. I’d be very, very surprised if they don’t run away with the division. So, that leaves one spot left for the Giants or Cowboys. Dallas has the one-game edge, but the Giants have the tiebreaker over them. So they might as well be tied, for our purposes. The remaining schedules are much easier for the Giants. They will be in Washington on Monday night (far from a gimmie; as I stated two weeks ago, Washington is the best of the bad teams and would get lots of pleasure out of spoiling a Giants season), home for Carolina and in Minnesota, in a game that they will almost certainly have nothing to play for. Dallas, on the other hand, goes into New Orleans on Saturday night, which not only means that they’ll be facing an undefeated team at home, but they’ll also be facing their thousands of drunk Louisiana fans who are ready to get into the holiday spirit with a Cowboy beatdown. That seems like an almost unwinnable game. They’ll then go into Washington and then will be home for the Eagles in a game that likely will mean a lot for the Eagles, since a win for them may mean the 3 seed in the NFC. I like the Giants’ chances right now, but both teams have been dysfunctional in different ways. Yesterday, the Cowboys’ offense seemed completely out of sync, and they wasted many, many opportunities to win that game. The Giants’ offense looked very good, but it’s tough to win many games when you give up 45 points at home. Whichever team can straighten their problems out will sneak into the playoffs.
And, to be honest, that’s really all that came out of week 13 that was particularly relevant to the playoff picture. So, with that, let’s go to some notes:
- Reader, potential future writer here at Storps and Lady Gaga’s number 1 fan, Mike Capozzi, added his views to my piece on Friday about the rise of Gaga. He writes:
“The fascination with lady gaga is quite simple. The public becomes aware of her after her catchy song “just dance”. A good song but in no way shape or form a phenomenon-inducing work of art. As you have noted, the progression of lady gaga can be seen in subsequent songs, outfits and behaviors. Rather than becoming “crazier” or “weirder”, it is quite fascinating to realize she is actaully becoming more “herself”. A self described “freak” in high school who “didn’t fit in” Lady Gaga used the confidence she had acquired from her first songs, to “come out of her shell” so to speak. We are now witnessing lady gaga as herself, as the raw emotion and psychological distress which she has kept inside for years.
“So the question is why are we so fascinated by her? Why? Because she appeals to our subconscious. Here she is, being exactly who she is. She is laying everything on the line in front of everyone. How many of us hide from society? How many of us disguise our true selves to appear “smarter” or more “sophisticated” or the best one… “cooler”. My guess is a large percentage of us. Lady Gaga is a phenomenon because she is us. She is the tortured, twisted soul within all of us that we hide and keep locked away from society. We love her because she defies that and rises above it.”
Thanks Mike! And being a Lions fan, he knows a thing or two about tortured, twisted souls, so I get the correlation.
- In an ESPN Classic Instant Classic, at least for those people who like looking at numbers rise on a computer Gamecast screen, I defeated columnist James Morillo in our fantasy football league, as I successfully predicted, 125-116 this week. For anyone who doesn’t know the scoring system for fantasy football, a score that high is very, very rare in ESPN formats. So I tip my hat to you, James, for a worthy matchup. I now move onto the finals, and another victory would give me my third consecutive title in our league. Not to give a preview of a future column, but expect the word “Threepeat” to be used after every tenth word if I win the title. Just a warning.
- I’ve gotten to the point with my favorite hockey team, the New York Rangers, that I’ve all but given up on this season. At this point I’d be willing to trade every single Ranger except for Henrik Lundqvist, Marc Staal, Michael Del Zotto, Ryan Callahan and Marian Gaborik. Every one else is up for sale. Go get them! Just an amazingly frustrating season so far. It’s still early though, so hopefully they turn it around. If not, I think it’s time for General Manager Glen Sather to get the boot. Finally.
-Finally, a Major Addendum to a column I wrote two weeks ago, “The Generational Suck of Pop Music”, about Z100, a top New York radio station and the music that they play. In the column, I wrote a list of my top ten favorite songs from 1998 to 2003. In this list I omitted “The Way” by Fastball, thinking that it came out in 1996. Well, I’m a moron. A huge moron. The song came out in 1998, qualifying it for the list. It would have been either #1 or #2 on my list, since it’s probably my favorite song of all time. The “The Way” vs. “Wild Wild West” argument would have been a very difficult one. But, anyway, that song would have been very high on the list, so I apologize to myself, my readers and the divine members of Fastball, who at this point in their careers would have enjoyed it if the good folks in the trailer next to them at the park knocked on their door and said, “Did you hear about that hack writer Rothsomething that said you had the best song from 1998-2003?” So sorry. In fact, here’s that song, just to make up for it. My most heartfelt apologies to Fastball, and I’ll be back with another column on Friday.
December 15, 2009 · Filed under NFL, NHL, Pop Culture
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IT’S almost midnight on a Friday night, and the bar is hopping. It’s the Friday after Thanksgiving, so friends and family are out on this night, catching up over a few drinks. The bar is loud, and the music is nearly drowned out by the noise of the people at hand. The DJ has a device where a corresponding music video is played on the HD screens above, based on whichever song he decides to play. No matter, though. Everyone is so caught up in their drinks and their friends that he is rendered nearly irrelevant. All of a sudden, the bar grows quiet. The patrons seem suddenly mesmerized. Every head in the entire bar swings toward the television sets. People position themselves so that they can have a full view of the TVs, as if the bar had turned into a concert hall. The only sound heard was that of the music overhead, now recognized as being very loud, since all the other sound had gone away. The DJ continues to play the track. Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” video continues to play around the bar, the audience enraptured. The video eventually ends, and the bar goes back to normal.
What in the heck just happened? Lady Gaga’s ridiculous, totally insane video had commandeered the attention of hundreds of people for five solid minutes. In fact, this video just mesmerized me for five solid minutes while linking the youtube site to this column. She has some sort of mythic power. I feel dizzy. The sensation at the bar that she ignited was unlike anything I’ve ever witnessed. I’ve loved music videos and pop music for a long time. But never in my lifetime have I remembered a video that took up this much attention. Britney Spears’ “Baby One More Time” had a similar aspect of social phenomenon, but I don’t think it had quite this power. I think if I was at a bar at that time and that video played, the conversation would go, “Wow, Britney Spears is really hot. I’d totally do it, it would be the greatest night of my life…wait, what? She’s 16?!?! I feel dirty. Let’s get another beer.” I don’t think it would stop the bar the way that Gaga did. So, how did we get here with a freakshow like Lady Gaga? What happened that took us from up and coming singer to weirdo to global pop icon that can stop a bar in its tracks? Something happened with her ascent that changed the face of music as we know it. Let’s look back at these last thirteen or so months to see her steps.
November/December 2008- “Just Dance” hits the airwaves. From watching this video, we see Gaga’s trademark weirdness with her outfits to some degree, with an odd get-up and lightning bolt across her face. But, the atmospheric insanity that is “Bad Romance” isn’t there yet. The setting for the video is pretty basic, just a party. I’m not a big fan of the song, but this is where she began. The reaction was that of a hit song, and nothing more than that. It was catchy and got a lot of airplay, especially on Z100. But the cultural uplifting hadn’t started yet.
January 2009- “Pokerface” comes out, and we start to see the gears in motion. In this video, Gaga’s outfits become more outrageous, although we’re far from seeing their peaks. The video still has some outline of a setting, with a poker game being played throughout parts of it, despite the words ‘pokerface’ changing into something that sounds a lot more outlandish by the end of the first verse. Listen to her pronunciation of the word and tell me that it doesn’t sound a whole lot dirtier. Just try it. We’re starting to see the abstract art that is Gaga’s wardrobe and performance decisions through this video. It’s a huge hit, Z100 loves it and so does most of the country.
February/March 2009- We don’t get any new singles from Gaga, but the fashion insanity tour hits full swing. We go from nutty but fairly mainstream to odd . Then we get to “What is wrong with her?” to “Where did her face go??” Finally, we hit full capacity on the crazy train, with Bubbles , and finally, the infamous Kermit . To me, the craziest outfit is the 4th one. Something about people not showing their face freaks me out, more so than any crazy oufit. Why can’t she just show her face? That is just really weird to me. The Kermit outfit becomes a mini-story across America in itself, and people start to wonder if this woman is completely nuts. She is now a national headline.
April/May 2009- “LoveGame” is released, and once again is a huge hit. This video approaches the heights of her nuttiness. There is no setting for the video, her outfits are now completely nuts, and the lyrics to the song mean very little. “Let’s have some fun/ This beat is sick/ I want to take a ride on your disco stick”. What does that even mean? Does anyone have a clue? I’ve got nothing, and if you know, let me know. Let’s just be clear. I HATE this song, more than any other one by Gaga. But it’s popular, and her fame continues to grow. This rise in popularity leads me to go on an angry rant in May, declaring that no one needs any talent anymore to be famous, and that all that matters are the producers someone works with. I also said that back in my day, the top performers may have not been that talented, but at least they seemed like human beings. Lady Gaga just didn’t seem human to me. She was almost robotic. And, on that note, we’ve reached the Paragraph Where Jeremy Sounds Like an Old Geezer. Glad we’ve gotten here so soon.
June-August 2009- Gaga has a pretty quiet summer, not doing anything particularly memorable. All three of her songs from the past year remain on the radio. This is the calm before the storm.
September 2009- Gaga’s biggest month to date. She appeared at and dominated the MTV Video Music Awards. She showed up looking like this, with her date for the VMAs being Kermit the Frog, naturally. (Why not?) She then performed “Paparazzi”, eventually lying in a pool of blood and rising above the set. One of the freakiest performances I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure if this was a good or bad performance, but it was simply terrifying. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it, and for the rest of the night I swore that she would come out of my TV and attack me in my living room. She would then accept an award wearing this, be nominated for another wearing this, go backstage wearing this outfit, and, finally, go to the after-party wearing this. Wow. Quite a night for Gaga. And the legend grows.
Finally, the Gaga phenomenon hits its very height. Two weeks later, Gaga goes onto Saturday Night Live as the musical guest. Her first performance of Paparazzi is typical Gaga craziness that we’ve come to expect. Weird outfits, odd dancing maneuvers (if you want to call them that), and the usual. But, her second performance was transcendent. The problem with Gaga at this point was that, while she was respected for her bold performance, dance, and fashion choices, she still didn’t seem to have an artistic soul. Nobody understood who she actually was, behind all of the distractions on her face. We didn’t know where she came from or anything about her besides her new-age music. This performance was exactly what America needed from her at the perfect moment. A sit-down, reveal-all showcase of why she got to where she was. Of course, she had to throw in her circle dress to do it, but it’s a fair compromise. She revealed herself to be a girl from New York who is super talented, can sing like crazy and play the heck out of a piano. I truly believe this is the greatest performance in Saturday Night Live’s history, at least of what I can remember. I was talking about it for days.
October 2009- The aforementioned “Bad Romance” video comes out, and it becomes a huge hit. She also cancels her tour with Kanye West, which was supposed to tour around the country during the fall.
November 2009- Gaga performs at the American Music Awards, in her typical risqué fashion. She also premieres ‘Speechless’ during the performance, which will become her newest single in the near future. Her deluxe album, “The Fame Monster” is released and sells well in its first week. She also co-writes “Fever” on Adam Lambert’s debut CD, one of the best tracks on his album.
Also, parodies of “Pokerface” become the cool thing to do, from South Park to Christopher Walken to Seth Macfarlane and Alex Borstein, although I don’t think this one’s that funny. I don’t find it offensive, but it’s just not that hilarious. (For the record, I think the South Park one is best.)
And now, we’re here. So, where have we gotten in this year? It’s arguably the fastest ascent from complete unknown to biggest star on the planet that we’ve ever had as a society. The question then becomes if this is a good thing. Does Gaga deserve to be where she is right now? She has proven time and time again that she is amazingly talented, as much as anyone performing today. But her outlandish costumes, sets and overall persona have definitely sped up the process of her fame. The way that she became famous reminds me of the way Barry Bonds took steroids as a San Francisco Giant. Did he need steroids to be great? No, since he was likely a first ballot hall-of-famer before he even touched the juice. But his numbers were then inflated to the point that he owned nearly every single power record in baseball’s history. Was Gaga incredibly talented before she started wearing all of these costumes? Absolutely. But now she’s on another level that she never would have been without them.
We now know that, for better or worse, kosher or unkosher methods, Lady Gaga is in the stratosphere of celebrities in the world. Is this a good thing? There have been a lot of positives and a lot of negatives to her rise to fame. She has given us electrifying performances, on the positive side. She has also given us a lot of over-produced, mediocre music, on the negative side. The state of pop radio would probably be better off without Lady Gaga, I hate to say. Not only do we have her techno-ized, hyper-produced numbers on the air, but we also have followers of Gaga who are trying to make similar music, but they don’t have the chops to pull it off.
But, in the end, I believe that music is better off with the presence of Lady Gaga. One of the trademarks of popular musicians in the last decade has been their trouble with alcohol, drugs, and the law in general. Almost every single popular performer has had some sort of issue with one of these three things. In fact, Whitney Houston made her ‘comeback’ at the same AMAs that Gaga performed at, and was given a standing ovation. Why? Because she stopped smoking crack! That warrants a standing ovation? Melissa Etheridge, a woman who BEAT CANCER (sorry to go into caps like that without warning) wasn’t given an iota of respect. And yet, Whitney Houston gets an ovation because she stopped being hooked to drugs? Really?? Alright. Gaga hasn’t had a single problem of the sort. In fact, one thing has been ignored in all of her press interviews and public appearances. She’s been looked at for her crazy outfits so much, including by myself, that what has been overlooked is how genuinely nice of a person she seems. She’s come off as a charming musician who loves her craft and is thrilled about her success. She’s never once appeared jaded or full of herself outside of performance. She just seems to be a girl from New York who loves Queen (after all, her name is based on Radio Gaga) and wants to make innovative music. And if she’s a weirdo, so be it. She is showing her talent to the world on the grandest stages imaginable. One of my problems with Gaga has been that she is setting a horrible example for kids who want to become performers, because she is hiding her true talent with masks and crazy outfits. But now that I think about it, maybe she’s setting a great example for young artists. Maybe she’s just being herself by wearing ridiculous outfits. She’s really saying that it’s ok to let your freak flag fly. If I can do it, why not you? In fact, just today, she said on an interview with Barbara Walters, “I aspire to be a teacher to my young fans… I want to free them from their own fears.” She’s never been ashamed of the clothes she’s wearing. We’ve been the ones that have judged her. There’s no shame in someone expressing themselves. The shame is reflected onto us as a society. Kids who are unsure about themselves can look to Gaga, and say “Maybe some day I can stop a bar in its tracks with my music video. If she can do it, I can do it”. Gaga’s star shines very, very brightly today. And it’s because of her originality and her refusal to be ashamed by what she does that I’m glad for it. I hope she has the chance to continue to spread that message.
December 11, 2009 · Filed under Pop Culture
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